Wednesday, April 1, 2009

A Not-So-Nice April Fools Joke

Let me start by saying I am not fond of this so-called "holiday." (I use that term as loosely as possible.) To further clarify, I don't mind playing practical jokes on people but I hate being the recipient of them. I can only dish it out.

People (and when I say "people" I mean my family) know this weakness of mine and continue to torture me year after year after year. Therefore, I will conduct a brief seminar on the origins as well as the do's and dont's of this wretched day.

Welcome to Shamae's April Fools Day Seminar 101 titled: Shamae can only dish it out but if she must be forced to "take it," here are some wise guidelines to follow.

The origins of April Fools Day vary in account and, consequently, all we have to go by are theories, not facts, which I will briefly share with you today.

1) One version has it that it was first celebrated soon after the adoption of the Gregorian Calendar and the term "April Fool" referred to someone who still adhered to the Julian Calendar that it replaced. (Yawn: boring!)

2) Another account has it that in pre-Christian cultures, May Day (May 1) was celebrated as the first day of summer that signaled the beginning of the spring planting season and an April Fool was someone who celebrated the season prematurely--in April. (This one is a little better. I like a good farming story...takes me back to my roots. ha ha ha, just a little professor dry humor.)

3) Still another source, which is based on an English newspaper article published on April 13, 1789, traces the origin of April Fools’ Day to the day when Noah sent off a raven too early, before the waters had receded; it is said that the day the raven was sent off corresponded to the first day of the Hebrew month of April.

(I do not like this theory. Noah had been living on this ark for about a year. Granted this was no dinky boat with giraffe necks and elephant trunks peeking through holes on the top of the ship. This was ship was huge!! 135 meters long (300 cubits), 22.5 meters wide (50 cubits), and 13.5 meters high (30 cubits). Keep in mind a cubit was the length of an arm from fingertip to elbow. This converts to approximately 450 feet long, 75 feet wide, and 45 feet high! This 3-story ship's deck size would be about the same as 21 standard college basketball courts. So this was like the Titanic of the B.C. world. So why do I not like this theory? Because Noah had been living on this huge, animal-laden ship for a year!! I think I would have been anxious to send off the bird too! I do not think he was foolish in his behavior. I wouldn't want to be the one to call Noah foolish anyway--he survived the flood, right? As I recall, the folks who called him foolish are the ones that drowned! So my ramblings mean: this theory doesn't not hold water in my book. :-)

However, regardless of its origin, this is just a silly holiday where pranksters get their fill of mean jokes. I want to wrap this class up because "word challenge" on facebook is calling my name so let me conclude by telling you a definite DO NOT when it comes to pranking Shamae...

It is NOT okay for a sister--let's just call her "Malory"--to send her other sister--let's just call her "Shamae"-- a text that says, and I quote, "Ashlyn [my 5 month old neice] stopped breathing 3 times today. I'm taking her to the hospital." And then, 5 minutes later, to text, "April Fools!"

This will invoke slight panic on my part. My heart will race. I will sweat. I will start planning ways to pick Sydney up early from pre-school and drive an hour to "Malory's" house in order to make sure this sweet little ball of blub is ok! I mean how cute is she? So now I'm all sweating and panicky for no reason!

So, take my advice, do not pull pranks that are related to the above mentioned in any way, shape, or form. If you follow my counsel, we can still be friends at the end of this heinous holiday.

Fortunately, "Malory" is excused from the Wrath-of-Shamae because she is my sister and my life would not be complete if I were to cut her out of it. The rest of you, however, are don't try anything "funny." Hopefully public humiliation on my blog will be lesson enough for "Malory." :-) he he he

Class dismissed.


Erin said...

Cute little baby. But I am going to be honest when I say that isn't something you joke about. Even on April Fools day. I would hate for something to really happy to that little baby and she will always remember the time when she was "Jokingly" saying she stopped breathing. I do not like April Fools day either.

michaelstubbs said...

Who said that April Fool's Day is a holiday?
And who would text another person that their baby wasn't breathing instead of making a much quicker call to 911?
Come on Shamae, aren't you over-thinking this a little

The Lane Family said...

What a beautiful baby, I really love the little hat it is darling. I am guessing that this is the baby talked about?!?! That was very cruel and I liked how it was in a class form. I am with you I DO not really like April Fool's and I try to keep it under control.

tulipdjc said...

Ugh!!! Not nice!! We have 2 rules for April Fool's day. 1) you can not be mean, cruel or scare me. 2) You have to be willing to clean up after your trick (Which is why Zara put the plastic wrap away instead of proceeded to go into the bathroom!!) :p

Shamae said...

LOL Mike...rookie mistake. I should have known it was a joke (using that term loosely as well) from the get go...I will remember better for next year. Am I overthinking it? Probably, but that just comes with the territory. I am done with school so I use this as my personal forum. ;) P.S. I keep meaning to call wendy to set up another night so your wife can come and wipe the floor with us in Settlers. :D

Dawn said...

I like am with you, I only like the pranks if I am the one doing them. Luckily, it is not a big thing in our house. One year I tried pulling one on Charlie. I had a very prego friend pee on a stick for me and then gave it to him when he got home from work. Needless to say he didn't fall for it and I have never tried since. Big sigh. . .

michaelstubbs said...

You should spend some time plotting your revenge...and yes, let's have a game night soon.