Thursday, September 3, 2009

Tickling Seminar 101

From time to time it becomes imperative that I share wisdom I have learned, usually the hard way, to my readers. Why? Because often it is easier to learn from other's mistakes rather than learning them all on your own. So without further ado, here are some tickling tips from Shamae. Take them to heart. Memorize them. Live by them and you will not reap the same fate as my poor left eye.

Tickling Seminar 101:

1--If you and your spouse/significant other have a long standing "tickling war" make sure you both understand the risks. Sign a waiver if necessary. If injuries will cause demise of the relationship, I suggest having a truce and discontinuing all future wars.

2--If waivers are signed, the relationship is not at risk, and both parties agree to continue the battle, make sure there are pre-made rules to follow. For example, the party that is the tickelee and not the tickler must hold their head still and not bounce it up and down while struggling to free themselves from the grasp of the tickler. Heads are hard. When they make contact with the bone surrounding the eye ugly things can and will happen.

3--And finally, one must realize if the above rules are not complied with, the following will occur at some point. See below.




--This is the aftermath of a tickling match from last night. And, as a disclaimer, when I say tickling it is not a subliminal message for some kinky bedroom fun. It is just as it sounds...tickling. When Loren and I got married he bragged that his dad was the ONLY person who could tickle him. Well me, being the competitive person I am, took that as a challenge and every few months I feel the urge to remind him that I too can tickle him to the point of tears.
A couple nights ago during a guitar hero battle with his friend Mitch, I took the opportunity to stick ice down Loren's pants thus causing Mitch to gain the upper hand and beat Loren. Since then he has been trying to get me back. Last night he did get me back so I decided to tickle him as a form of retaliation. I proceeded to do so and when I was going down to give him a little kiss on the cheek, in an attempt at a truce cause I was ready for bed, he sat bolt upright and his hard noggin connected with the bone surrounding my eye. That, my friends, is the cause of my black eye. I currently am going to hide behind sunglasses until it fades because, well it's just embarrassing. In Loren's defense, he felt AWFUL. Maybe that will result in flowers or something nice when he comes home from work today. :-)
What about you? Any embarrassing injury stories you care to share with me?

13 comments:

Amy said...

OH SHAMAE! OUCH! And poor Loren....I can't imagine how bad he felt. I think maybe this calls for some Cold Stone or something! ;)

I've not had any embarrassing injuries-- but a I have a friend whose husband accidently sliced her leg open with a chain saw. She was standing on the other side of the tree and he didn't realize how close she was.

J.R. and Michelle said...

Oh man that looks awful! I think it's fun to have a fun relationship like that though. I once gave myself a concussion, and two black eyes by sneezing. Yep you read it right. I was washing my face before bed, and had my head leaned down near the faucet in the sink, sneezed. Well you know how when you sneeze you involuntarily draw your head back. Well with soap in my eyes(washing makeup off) my head drew back from the sneeze and from the full force of coming forward slammed into the faucet right between the eyes. Since I had to miss work they wanted me to go to the Dr., imagine how the dr. looks at you when you say that you got a concussion and two black eyes from sneezing! LOL! They looked at J.R. with that sideways glance and we just knew that they were sure he had clocked me one! I'm lucky I didn't break my nose!

KLTTX said...

OUCH! Funny story though and I love that you had to clarify that you were really talking about tickling.

Priscilla said...

Holy cow! OUCH! Remind me to step out of the way next time you guys have a tickle war going. :)

Embarrasing injuries?...let me think about that for a while. Nothing comes to mind yet...

Meri said...

My 11 year old got a giant shiner a couple weeks ago playing basketball with his boy scout troop. Since Diabetics take longer to heal I am still explaining it to every one I see. "No he is not abused..."

Heal quickly my dear blogger friend.

Wendy said...

Ooooo...that's real purty :)

When I was 8, I broke my arm. We lived in the Phillipines and a typhoon had just swept through our little town. In the aftermath, all the streets were flooded and there was this little palm tree with wide leaves that were bent over from the weight of the water. All the kids were taking turns sliding down one of the leaves and splashing into the filthy dirty street water :) When it was my turn, the leaf broke.

Oops.

Rachel said...

Oh that looks painful!!!! You poor thing. I can just imagine how bad Loren felt..... Now I will tell you what I tell my boys "You better stop before somebody gets hurt".... oh never, I guess it really doesn't mean anything now... damage done!! LOL

Hope it doesn't turn out all kinds of colors. :)

Megan said...

Ouch! You guys are hard-core. :) My most recent embarrassing injury: I was making fun of cheerleaders in our living room to make Travis laugh. As I jump-kicked through the air, I smacked my foot on the rocking chair and ended up in Urgent Care when my foot had swollen to almost twice it's size. :/

Regan said...

You look so tough Shamae!! Are you sure you're not a cage fighter on the side?? Did you see Kelly's eye a few weeks ago? His head connected with the Shelton's Dog's head and thus an ugly black eye. I did however knee him in the eye once. We had finished our prayers and I jumped up really fast and whammed him in the eye causing a black eye as well. He says I knocked him so hard he saw stars! I guess that's pretty hard. Anyway, Dave Shelton felt so bad when he saw Kelly's eye, that he's taking us out to dinner tonight!!!

Stringham Family said...

I'm so sorry, but I laughed so hard reading this! LOL! That is so funny! I have an embarrassing story! I was dating Jesse and he was holding my hand as we were walking, I turned around to see where my roommates were and walked right into a Coke Machine! Yeah, it was awesome! No real obvious bruises, but it was embarrassing still the same and I still get teased about it! Hope you heal quickly and that you don't get to many looks of what the......

Mel said...

Ouch! I think its cute you guys have tickle fights. A couple that tickle fight together gets wounds together. Next times its Loren's turn. hehe

carrie said...

That is too funny!!!!! You crack me up! And way to make a black eye look good!

Wortham Family said...

that looks really painfull, but i have to say that is really funny story, Jared and i laughed, your poor husband!!!!