Friday, September 10, 2010

Maxi Pad Mix-up

Well blogging friends, our family is going to be out of town for several days and I thought I would entertain you with a story from my past. I have many stories that, at the time, were embarrassing but now, looking back, are humorous. This is one such tale to entertain you until I can make my way back home and post pics of our lovely little trip...

The Maxi Pad Mix-Up

It was 1992, I was in the 4th grade. This was "The Year." I remembered my older sister telling me about the education class that was taught during the 4th grade. The boys in one room. The girls in another. I still don't know what tidbits of human biology were taught in the boys room but I vividly remember the girls room. We learned about....drumroll...our periods. The subject was mortifying to me; however, I didn't want to seem like a sissy and miss school that day so I braved the public education torture. I would be lying if I didn't admit that curiosity also got the better of me. What exactly were they going to talk about?

(Shamae in the 4th grade. Stylish, eh? :-)

A local pediatrician (my childhood pedi actually as well as our neighbor/family friend) came to give us "the talk." We discussed breast growth. Body hair growth. Body odor. Crushes. Hormones. Basic sex anatomy. And, yes, our impending periods. (Which mine didn't start til the 8th grade anyway so maybe the talk was a little premature but it got the message across. I still remember that day too. Mr. B's 8th grade science class. Calling my mom crying. Thinking no one would EVER understand my humiliation. And now, laughing at my insecurity that I now realize every other girl was also going through.) But that's a story for another day. Back to the 4th grade...

After the question and answer session was over we received our goody bags and were sent on our way. I'm pretty sure this talk was wisely put at the end of the day on a Friday so we didn't have to face the boys with our new found knowledge about our bodies. We had the weekend to redeem our lost dignity. When I got home I went through the bag with my mom. I don't remember everything it contained; however, I remember the maxi pad. I told my mom I wanted to wear it around for a day, you know, just to see what it was like. My mom agreed to let me wear it the next day.

The next morning came. I put on the pad and went about my business on the farm. Feeding the cows. Watering the horses. Riding around on the 4-wheeler and checking my gopher traps I set for the other local farmers. (I made $1.50 per tail. Big bucks! :-) After my Saturday was winding to a close I went to the bathroom and removed the pad thinking that maybe having a period wouldn't be so terrible.

After dinner my mom asked me, "So Shamae, how was wearing the pad today?" I repeated in what I assumed was a mature, grown-up voice, "Oh it wasn't so bad mom. The worst part was just taking it off. But that only stung for a minute."

My mom gave me the most questioning look and asked in her reserved "mom" voice--you know the one where you hear it and you know you did something wrong but you aren't sure what it is yet--"Shamae, what side did you put down facing your underwear?" I answered, "The soft side. I put the sticky side on me. Isn't that how it goes?" At this point my mom lost all composure and said, "No, the sticky side is supposed to stick to your underwear to hold the pad in place."

At that moment it all made sense--the sticky side didn't need to be stuck to ME to stay in place! Sticky Side Down! My mom immediately called our pediatrician friend who provided the course at school and tried to regain composure long enough to explain my blunder. The Dr. said it never occurred to her to explain "sticky side down." She said she would definitely add that little bit of info to her curriculum for the following year.

So, the moral of this story...Sticky Side Down.

~~This is my fellow 4th grade class. I've often wondered if any of the girls made the same mistake I did...however I doubt it because sticky side down just makes more sense than "lets stick this to my vajay-jay and then rip it off at the end of the day."
P.S. I don't remember exactly how I handled using the bathroom that day. But I bet I just took it off, did my business, and slapped it back on.

26 comments:

Krystal said...

Ha ha ha! I remember that day! Oh Shamae, how you made me laugh growing up. (And let's not lie,cry too. You could be brutal!)Love you! :)

Wendy said...

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!

OUCH :)

Thanks for the laugh, my friend!!!!

Have a nice weekend.

Meri said...

Oh my gosh, you got me on that last sentence...I had to laugh out loud! You are hilarious! I'm so impressed that you didn't think it was that bad wearing it that way. You are one tough chica! I think if you were further along in the puberty process it would have been a whole different story!

Jen said...

THAT was a great way to begin my morning ..even before my coffee was ready! Hilarious!!

Tracy (The Crazy Pancreas) said...

Thanks for the laugh! I am sure we all did things that would be common sense to others.

Thanks for sharing your story, I needed the laugh. :-)

Heather said...

Thanks for the great laugh this morning! Ouch though!

Lora said...

OMG!! I am about to wet my pants because I am laughing so hard.

I KNEW, as soon as you said...
"The worst part was just taking it off. But that only stung for a minute."
I KNEW what was coming next.

You are too funny. Thanks for sharing :)

Cindy said...

Hehehe....OUCH! Too funny! Thanks for the laugh!

Valerie said...

Hahah, thanks for sharing. Too Funny.

Jessica said...

Shamae I am so glad you shared that! Tears are coming to my eyes! :)

Goodwin Family said...

Thanks for the laugh Shamae! :)

Heidi / D-Tales said...

That is one funny story!!! :)

Sheila said...

You are awesome. that's all. :)

Jenni said...

Oh my! That is HILARIOUS! I bet Dr. P was laughing so hard when she heard that one....wonder if she still remembers it? You are awesome for sharing this....and the terrific pics! SOOOOO FUNNNNNY!

Melissa said...

That was a funny story! My favorite part, though, were the pics. That's the Shamae I remember. Plus, needless to say my little brother in the class picture. Awesome! Thanks for the memories (on more than one level.)

Misty said...

HaHaHa! OMG!! HaHaHa! I can't stop laughing!!! Once again your post has taught me something...I will definitely make a note to teach my girls sticky side down!! HaHaHa! Still laughing!!

Stacey said...

Oh my Shamae. Well as said pediatrican/friend's daughter, sex education day held the same humiliations plus it was my mom doing the talk. Not cool. She offered not to turn them down while I was in the talks but I thought I was too mature to get embarrassed. Wrong. Not nearly as funny but along the same lines. The first time I put on deodorant my mom walked in my room to find me putting it all the way down my arm. I thought you had to put it all over your body. Glad she stopped me it would have taken forever.

KLTTX said...

OUCH! Too funny Shamae.

Katie said...

Awesome! Seriously I needed a laugh today. Thanks!

Rachel said...

ha ha ha!!!!! Oh that's funny! :)

Springer Family said...

That is so funny!Ha ha ha! Oh the joys of learning about our bodies :) Hope you are feeling well!

Reyna said...

O.MY! How did I miss this one? Too funny Shamae. Love it.

Jennifer said...

omg girl I am laughing so hard right now....thanks for the humor!!! hehhehehe

periwinkle4 said...

I was laughing so hard the kids came running! You really crack me up! I admire your ability to admit to your past mistakes. Hey, it is a good thing you found out how to use it the right way before you needed it! lol

Jen B said...

Bahhhh! That was hysterical!!! Thanks for sharing, I needed a great laugh!

Amanda said...

AGH! Thanks for the laugh!