Friday, June 22, 2012

Crazy Month...

Things in our home have been kind of busy for the past month and, oddly enough, we have done nothing significant. Loren had to have a little surgery on June 1 and spent a couple weeks home with the family while he healed from that. I was reminded why I am not a home body and need time out of the house everyday. :) He finally went back to work this week and has been doing well although, I think he tires easily.

I turned 29 on June 11. It's a big step. I feel that life is speeding by and it just doesn't slow down. Every year that I age I know it means my parents and grandparents who are still around are just another year older as well. When aging gets a little scary I just remember one of my favorite quotes, "Never regret growing older. Tis a privilege denied to many." We have had some super scary health issues over the past 2 years and I will never  regret having another birthday to celebrate.

Morgan and Hadlee are super. Hadlee still suffers from terrible ear infections that drain down her ear lobes. Her one is ear is so compacted with infection goo that she is going back to the ENT on Monday to get it cleaned out. She has tubes but her ears are just not in the best shape. I don't know if it's a preemie thing or a Hadlee thing but, either way, it's not pleasant. I thank the good Lord above for giving us such a happy baby who only cries if something hurts. Literally. She never cries when she wakes up or anything. She just babbles and plays til we get her out of her crib. She is a gem and I can't imagine life without her. Even though my body/health may never be the same since her awful pregnancy, I coin her "The best bad thing that ever happened to me." :) Morgan is bored already with summer vacay. But I have told her not to worry, I have plenty of chores around here to keep her busy. Morgan has also been acting out angrily lately. I don't know why or what to do. I've exhausted all knowledge and if I don't figure out how to help her soon we are all going to get whiplash from her mood swings. If you have any thoughts, we'd be happy to hear them.

Sydney's blood sugars have not been stable. We found our insurance is no longer going to cover her brand of insulin. We aren't happy with trying novolog again because we really like humalog (and humalog is cheaper for us). Despite what you think, not all insulins are the same and not all affect kids the same way. I feel like I'm drowning in an ocean and I can't swim. And as much as I want a break from eating, sleeping, talking, and dreaming in numbers and carbs and ratios, etc etc etc, I feel guilty because Syd will never get a break. Ever. We need a cure. We need a cure like we need food. It can't come soon enough. Often it's a world where you are alone even when you have friends and family who are loving and supporting you. It's a world where you walk around people but no ones knows the silent war we are waging every day in our home.

That is a favorite song of mine and often reminds me of our silent war we wage and everyone who fights the type 1 battle every day. You try to say what everyone wants to hear. Smile because that's what people want to see. When someone asks how you are doing, do they really care to know? Thompson Square sings a song called "Glass." One of my favorite quotes say, "We are fragile. We are human. We are shaped by the light we let through us. We break fast cause we are glass...Try not to judge me cause we walk down different paths." Type 1 is a scary disease. Kids are battling this disease 24-7. Without a break. They are soldiers. And warriors. There is a battle being waged all across the world right now. A battle being fought by soldiers too young to vote, too young to drink, too young to truly understand the fight they have been engaged in unwittingly. They have not asked for this battle, they wouldn't choose it knowingly. They fight. Without fighting, they die. I hope, I pray, I struggle on so one day, hopefully one day soon, this battle is won. For Sydney and those who came before her and those who will come after her, we will continue to fight. 

We are going to, once again, raise money for our Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation team, Sydney's Soldiers. Please pass the word around and in the next couple weeks I will have our page ready for donations. It's hard to think about the kids that have passed on since last year at this time because of their Type 1 Diabetes. This disease kills. We need a cure. I don't know where we will be next year at this time but we keep putting one foot in front of the other until we can say that Sydney USED to have Type 1 Diabetes. Thank you.


NikDuck said...

I am with you on the constant thinking/dreaming/sleeping about carbs and blood sugars. We just had our 2 year anniversary since her diagnosis and sometimes I can't believe that every day since then I have woken up thinking about diabetes, go to bed thinking about it and live it through the night too! We long for a cure too. Oh and insurance...why do they have to be so difficult?! It was good to read an update from you...have a good summer!

The Lane Family said...

What a month you have had....I know that you probably get tired of hearing you are an amazing family and you handle everything so well..because if you are like us we would at times like to be a family that does not have to deal so often with the medical community :)

But you do handle some so much and still are an amazing family of strength hope and the power of trusting in the Lord :)

I hope Hadlee's ears get feeling better:)

Aidan was having the same problems with mood swings and we still deal with them but we have gone to having a sticker chart and when he has a good day he earns a sticker or when he does his chorest etc...then if he acts up he loses a has helped a lot. IT seems such a small thing but it has made a difference and helped Aidan think a little more before he reacts.

Hang in there!!! We continue to pray for a cure for T1!!!!