My American Idol Picks

Last year I did several "American Idol picks" blogs! Now, we are at the top 6 and I think a blog post is warranted. I thought last night was a GREAT show! If you missed it, here is a re-cap for ya! Shania Twain night. I loved how most of them took the country song and did away with the country sound of it. They made it there own. don't get me wrong, I enjoy some country music, however, it was great to hear these songs in a different venue. One of my favs this season is the beautiful Lee Dewyze. This is his take on "You're Still the One."



Michael Lynche has a great voice too--although I am getting tired of sappy, love songs! This is his version of "It Only Hurts When I'm Breathing."



My favorite this season, however, is Crystal Bowersox. She is awesome! AND she holds a special place in my heart because she, like Sydney, has Type 1 Diabetes. I didn't enjoy her performance last night but here is the link to one of her performances that I loved! To see more of her talents, youtube her!



So, who are your A.I. picks and why? Go American Idol!

Diabetes, if you wanna rock, I'm ready to roll...

I wanted to do a quick little update so those of you who know what is going on don't have to worry unnecessarily. I don't like my peeps to worry. ;)

If you follow Wendy's facebook page, you know last night we ended up taking Syd to the hospital per recommendation of our CDE. So, here is a little update for all of you who have been worried.

Like I mentioned in the post before this, her numbers have been crazy. They are low. They stay low. They don't respond normally to carbs. She wasn't getting insulin w/ her food. Her basals were at 20% of the normal...so if you don't know T1 lingo...that means she was not getting much insulin at all. Her numbers were still hovering in the 40-60s range. It was so bizarre. It was also scary because she had stopped recognizing her lows. If your child is old enough to know what this feels like, and then all the sudden they can't, it's nerve racking. It means they are getting desensitized to what a low feels like. Lows, especially prolonged lows, can cause seizures. Coma. Death. It is very serious and that's why it was making us so nervous.

I took her to the hospital where they had us disconnect her pump completely. They gave her carbs. They were going to watch her. I was a little annoyed at this though because, as I told the nurse, I can do THAT at home and not get charged for it. But they also wanted to do some blood work. The on call pediatrician called Sydney's pedi endo and he gave us a game plan to get through the night. We pulled her off the pump. We are back on injections for the time being. However, no insulin w/ her food. Only correct, via injection, when she is high. He also didn't put us on a long acting insulin like Lantus.

I told Sydney that we were going on shots for a bit (I don't know if that means 1 day, a week, or what) and she said, "Mom I think that's a good idea. I'm just really tired of being low all the time." Syd has been worn out. Lacking energy. Glucose is an integral part of the body. Everyone needs it. When you run low for so long, your body gets tired--it has no fuel. Try running your car w/out gasoline and see what happens. That's what happens in the body. Sydney has been good with the shots. She was awesome with the blood draw. She didn't move a muscle. I think those are harder on me than her. I looked in her glucometer to check her averages. They have all dropped dramatically. Her 30 day ave b.s. is 145. Her 7 day is 120. And, considering we have been checking her at least 15 times a day...I would say the 7 day one is pretty accurate. The past 4 days have been the worst as far as her staying under 70 pretty consistently. They are wondering if maybe there is something else going on in her body that's causing such an unusual reaction. So they are checking her thyroid and adrenal glands and some other things. But those results won't be back for a while.

Several people have asked how I'm doing. I'm ok. I try to keep that positive outlook. Sometimes it's hard. Sometimes reality slaps me across the face and I realize this isn't going away. T1 never goes away. It is always there, waiting to throw some unexpected barrier in our path. It's exhausting both mentally and physically. But, I have a great support system. We have felt so loved w/ the outpouring of texts. Emails. Facebook messages. Phone calls. It's been awesome.

I try to use my blog to be a buoy for others. I hope it accomplishes that. I hope that, despite the hell diabetes puts us through from time to time, we can all lean on each other and keep standing strong. It takes courage to face a beast like this day after day. One of my favorite quotes about courage says, "Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is a quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I will try again tomorrow." That's what we are doing...trying again tomorrow. Trying not to let the magnitude of everything pull us under. Trying. It's a powerful word. Thanks for the outpouring of thoughts and prayers. Cyber hugs to all of you from my sweet, little family.

--Syd in the wagon at discharge.

Pop Quiz Time...

How much do you remember from math when you were in school? Lets have a little pop quiz, shall we?

2 + 2 =
5 x 3 =
4 - 2 =

How did you do? I imagine most of you answered correctly: 4, 15, & 2. Right?

This is how I've always understood basic concepts of math. But, if those numbers were symbolic for Type 1 Diabetes, everything gets messed up. Because sometimes 2 + 2 = 6. Or 10. Or -35. Or 1,000.

And the hardest part is I never know which it will be. I can't predict it. There is no rhyme or reason to it. Whatever the diabetes feels like throwing in my face is what we are left to deal with. I don't know how 2 + 2 can sometimes = - 465. But it does. And I'm left trying to figure out how to fix it. And, lately, I'm failing miserably!

The problem: Sydney has been running looowwww for no apparent reason for about a week now. We are talking low after low after low. We have given her upwards of 50 carbs. Turned her pump OFF. And she is still staying in the 50 and 60 range. She has had Type 1 for 2 years now. I don't believe it's a honeymoon thing. She isn't sick. She is my normal, little, sweet, Sydney apart from these lows--that creates sleepless nights--they are wearing her out. Not to mention the toll it takes on mom and dad.

It also worries me because this is exactly what happened when Syd ended up seizing. We aren't sleeping because we are up checking her all night. She will be 56. We give her 15 carbs. Then she will be 43. More carbs. Then she is 66. Then 59. Then 54. Then 62. And that is not an exaggeration! Today I picked her up from school early because her nurse couldn't get her to come up...she had given her a total of about 30 carbs, turned her pump OFF, and Syd was still 66. Right now, for example. She only got half her insulin for dinner. Her basals are turned off. She was 55. She got 15 carbs. Then she was 66. She received 15 more carbs. Keep in mind her pump is OFF. I just checked her and she is 61. We now have to wake her up and Loren is giving her 19 carbs. Syd is crying because, "I am so tired daddy. Please just let me go to sleep." It makes no sense. It boggles my mind. It breaks my heart. I DON'T UNDERSTAND!

I wish there were one thing that caused crazy numbers like these. We could say, "Oh she is running low. This is the problem. This is how we fix it! BAM! Better." But Type 1 doesn't work that way and I know this is one of the reasons it frustrates me so bad. I can't fix it. I don't know how. Sure we can narrow things down. I can use my power of deductive reasoning but it's still hard. So I guess that's the point of this post.

It's. Hard.

I want to fight against it and pretend it's not there. Cover my ears and scream, "LA LA LA LA!" But, the only person that would hurt is my baby girl. So, we persevere. We tell ourselves, "It could be worse." We smile. We crack jokes. We laugh. We pretend that it's all "run of the mill diabetes crap." But, despite it all, it's hard.

Of course, I know it could be worse. I know this too shall pass. If we ride the storm long enough, eventually it will calm down. So, what can I ask of my wonderful blogging readers? I ask this...

Welcome to Vegas...

Wednesday, April 14, was the Big Day. The anticipated day. A day, turned into 3, that was the foundation for a fabulous girl's vacation to Vegas. So, come along while I tell you about the trip through pictures! Enjoy! (Note: some pics are smaller because I don't know how to change them.)

But, before I begin, I need to give a GREAT BIG shout out to my husband Loren. His support was great. It would have been much harder to enjoy this trip if I didn't have his support. Thanks babe! Also, thanks to my mom, sister-in-law, and mother-in-law for helping watch the girls!

Wendy and Megann were my traveling buddies. Wendy already has her Vegas post done so feel free to click on her name and check it out! I must first mention, Wendy has a friend named Chris who has a magic show at the Hard Rock in Vegas. I am sending him love on my blog because he hooked us up. So, if you guys find yourself in Vegas, look up Chris the Magic Man's show and go to it!

You can click on Wendy's page to get pretty entertaining play by play of the events that transpired in Vegas and some more pics. I decided, for my post, I would tell some of the lessons learned from the trip.

I've never been to Vegas. I was so excited to go because I had several friends who emphatically announced how much fun is to be had in Vegas.

So here is Shamae's list of 10 things learned in Vegas.

10--As a kid, I collected baseball and basketball cards. In Vegas, I learned quickly that the cards being passed out on The Strip--although they are the same shape & size as sports cards--do not in fact contain athletes. Nope, no Joe Montana on thoooose cards. They are made especially for "special collectors"--which I am not a part.

9--It doesn't matter if you proudly wear a wedding ring...people go to Vegas for a "little less talk and a lot more action" if you know what I mean! That should let you know how wasted these men were to hit on one such as myself. (See Wendy's blog for more info on THAT storyline.)

8--My belief that it's not WHAT you know but WHO you know was re-affirmed. WHO we knew got us into MUCH, MUCH more awesome shows than WHAT we knew. xoxoxo again to Chris the Magic Man!

7--Slot machines are fun....ahem...once we figured out what to do with them. Some are quite tricky. This was Wendy's first time to a casino...so we got her broke in!

6--McDonalds and the New York Rollercoaster do NOT make a good combination. Poor Megann spent our last night in Vegas in her room. Very sick. Because of the above mentioned nemesis'.

5--The economy in Vegas must be booming! If they can get away w/ charging $3.00 for a soda from a vending machine...well they must be doing all right. Yes, I'm still bitter about it. I don't like paying that much to get my diet coke fix!

4--It doesn't matter what kind of stresses are plaguing your mind, a massage from A Touch of Las Vegas Day Spa will erase them all. It may have been the best 50 minutes of my life. Literally.

3--Walking through the MGM they had previews for shows playing. We saw a preview for a very scandalous show...which we opted not to see ;). Megann and I both commented how one of the main characters of this particular peep show looked EXACTLY like one of our dear JDRF special events coordinators (who happens to be a very good friend of mine). After a quick text to her, asking if she had a secret little life in Vegas I didn't know about, she confirmed that no, she did not. It must have been her doppelganger.

2--I learned that Wendy snores when she is a little...ummm...tipsy. Not just little snoring. We are talking a lumberjack sawing logs here. But, in her defense, she warned me! lol She is also such a super fun roommate! I do have a story about our dear, sweet Wendy...

Poor Megann was sick on Thursday. She was up in her room trying to recover and, in the meantime, Wendy and I had about $65 worth of free drink vouchers. So, Wendy decided to use them. Her and I were having a great time with the slot machines and not letting those vouchers go to waste...I sure did enjoy those Shirley Temples...and Wendy enjoyed her array of alcoholic elixirs.

After a few hours we decided we should head back to our room to check on Megann. We really were feeling bad she was missing out on our last night in Sin City. The elevator beeped at us as we stepped out onto the 12th floor. We turned to the left and went down the hall that had the picture of the dancing man. Our room was a ways down. I was walking and enjoying Wendy who wasn't 3 sheets to the wind but I would say maybe 1 1/2 or 2 sheets in.

As we passed room 106 on the 12th floor Wendy declared, "They have CHIPS!" You see, this particular room had ordered room service and the leftovers of their meal were waiting in the hall for housekeeping to pick them up. But, when you have an alcohol induced craving, even leftover food is desirable.

Holding true to the slogan of potato chips: once you pop, you can't stop, Wendy made an abrupt U-turn because those chips, "are REALLY good." She proceeded to take the entire bowl of chips back with us to our room...being mindful of the "crazy moving floors" which were not really moving. After concealing the lifted chips in our room, Wendy proceeded to enjoy every last crumb as we chatted until the wee hours of the morning about nothing in particular. Then, like a good girl, she returned the bowl to room 106's service cart. :-) The rest of the night we just enjoyed each other's company, chatting and laughing like teenagers. Then Wendy put on a shower cap and I mentioned that she looked like a lunch lady.

So, Wendy-the-Lunch-Lady-Who-Eats-Chips from room 106, was born--if you don't believe me, go visit her facebook page from last Thursday. The Lunch Lady made many status updates in her inebriated, lunch lady state. She was a great roomy. Lots of fun and created lots of laughs. It was a great night. I only wish Megann had not been so sick so she could have enjoyed it with us! Good times!

We made it...finally...the #1 lesson I learned in Vegas,

1--It really isn't about what you do but who you are with that makes the trip. Megann and Wendy were great companions. I *heart* both of them dearly. They both contributed so much to make this trip happen and to make it so enjoyable. Thanks for making my first, but not last, trip to Vegas a memorable one.

Enjoy the rest of the pictures!

--The slot machines. They no-likey Shamae.

--Before utilizing our VIP passes to get into Studio 54.
--Me and Gerry McCambridge...he has the show "The Mentalist" on CBS.And his show in Vegas rocks!!! I definitely recommend it! So, there is our trip! I hope you enjoyed the pics! Thanks again Wendy and Megann for an awesome time!!
This whole situation is neat because Type 1 Diabetes originally brought us together--each of us has a child with Type 1--but it took more than just that to make us friends. I thoroughly enjoyed this trip with some gals who I consider wonderful friends.

It's Soccer Time!

For the next couple months Morgan is going to be playing soccer. She is so excited and has so much fun out there! And all the kids look pretty darn cute! Here are some pics from her first game on Saturday. Enjoy!

~Morgan and her little besty, Kamryn.

~Morgan and Kam walking off the field. Morgan takes her soccer serious! :-)
~Little Miss Mo-Mo w/ her soccer ball. Ignore the date on the pic. I forgot to set it.
~Morgan and mommy.

~Kamryn and her mommy--my besty--Jessie. (it rhymes--although I think the proper name is called a "slant-rhyme," yes?)

~Morgan giving the ball a good kick.

~Enjoying some sunny-d after the game in my super, cool "new-to-me" minivan that Jessie has so lovingingly named "the swagga-waggon." :-)

April is Autism Awareness Month!

All of my wonderful blog readers know that I blog about a disease near and dear to my heart, Type 1 Diabetes. However, that isn't the only one that means something to me. In my family, my mom and dad have 5 kids. My older sister Krystal (28), then me (26), Malory (24), Hailey (18), Gabe (15). After 4 (I might add super, wonderful) daughters, my folks finally had a boy. So I urge you to keep reading and follow his story. Welcome to our other Holland...

~Gabe (2 months), Hailey (2 years)

Initially, Gabe developed absolutely normal. He was saying words, "mamma, dadda, cow, ball, bampa (grandpa)." He was my little buddy. I was a tomboy and enjoyed finally having a brother to pal around the farm with. But he started "losing" his vocabulary around 18 months old. He stopped making eye contact. He changed. I was 14 and I remember his meltdowns. We stopped being able to go places as a family because crowds and noises were too much for Gabe. It was hard on all of us. I remember watching the other kids his age and wishing Gabe could be like them. When he was 2 he was dx with autism. He had no vocabulary. We couldn't communicate with him. He lived in his own little bubble and we didn't know how to penetrate it. It seemed like he didn't even know his family existed. The doctors told my mom Gabe would never recognize her as his mother. He wouldn't know how to love. They actually gave her a pretty grim outlook on life with a child who has autism.

But my mom didn't take that as the end all. She started researching. She started reading. She joined committees. She learned all she could. We implemented several things early on after his dx. There were 3 things specifically that really seemed to help us get into Gabe's world. After integrating them, we started seeing progress. He began talking. He began playing...actually playing with other kids and toys. Using his imagination! He went to school. He learned.

~Gabe as a vampire for Halloween--I did the fancy paint job. :-)

~In school he has always been in mainstream classroom with the help of an aid through elementary school. In middle school his aid came as needed. As he grew, eventually the need for an aid diminished. Now, in high school, he doesn't need an aid at all.

~Gabe around 5 years old.

~Gabe had no fear of anything. He didn't understand danger. Or cold for that matter. He got outside in the winter once in only his diaper. The fact that he was freezing didn't register to him. It was like he couldn't feel it. This is a picture of Gabe after he scaled a tree to look in a nest. I had to go after him. Scary, eh?

~Gabe with his sisters...ummm don't mind my grouchy face. At 17 I thought I was too cool to get pictures taken with my family. Nevertheless, Gabe always had the support and love he needed. We all learned about autism and how we could help Gabe.

~Hailey was and still is one of his biggest advocates at school. They are only 2 years apart and she is great. This picture was not too long after his dx.
~This is me with Gabe at my wedding 7 years ago. He is such a bright spot in our life--notice his smile? Early on we couldn't get him to smile for pictures. I really believe it took all of us to help Gabe get where he is today. Which is where you ask?
~A 6'5" sophomore in high school. He has friends. And hobbies. Likes and dislikes. He has crushes on girls. He goes on dates. He has full communication skills.

~This is my mom, Hailey, and Gabe a couple of weeks ago.

-Gabe has many special talents and gifts that make Gabe uniquely Gabe. He loves his family. He loves to lift weights. He does 500 sit-ups every night--no joke! He has an awesome 6 pack! He is an avid outdoorsman and very independent and self sufficient. He is fully capable of living on his own after high school. Holding a job and having a family.

-Through the years people have asked us if we would change Gabe if we could. I've always been torn with this answer. He has gone through a lot growing up with Autism. Lots of tears. Lots of bullies. People who don't understand how a person with autism's brain works. People who don't understand nor do they care to TRY and understand. He has dealt with rash judgments and rude comments. But all of these things have worked together to make Gabe who he is today. Does he still have characteristics of autism? Yes, some. But he is no longer the introverted little boy he was at dx. He has grown into a great young man with so much potential.

I hope this month proves to be a very effective campaign to teach more people about the special people who live with autism. I hope they learn how to interact and help them. I hope they learn to love them and see them as a person and not define them by their disability. I hope this month helps more people focus on the ABILITY part of disABILITY.

In addition to my family, I have several friends, wonderful mothers, who are parenting some very special kids who have autism. I love them all and am so very proud of them. Cheryl, Amanda, Shelia, and Mom keep up the great work ladies. You are wonderful advocates. (I hope I didn't forget someone!)

For more information about autism and to learn the warning signs--because early intervention is key--please visit http://www.autismspeaks.org/

I know, I know...

I'm sure you have noticed, I've been MIA. First of all, I appreciate the comments on facebook and emails I've gotten from my peeps checking on me. It's always nice to be missed. So what have I been up to that has kept me so rudely ignoring the over 400 updates I have on my google reader and countless facebook status updates...honestly, nothing blog worthy. But since people have wondered here is my list of things currently keeping Shamae busy...

1) I got engrossed in a book series. If you have been following my blog for a while you know I am an avid reader. I jumped into the world of Percy Jackson and the Olympians. This 5 book series is written for youth--and the young at heart :-)-- I loved it! The books kept getting better and better. It was a wonderful world to dive into. I recommend it.

2) I had the opportunity to listen to a motivational speaker--a highschool rugby coach--about a week ago from a man who is coined as the "winningest coach in America." In his 35 years of coaching rugby he has only lost 9 games. I was intrigued by his job, partly because 6 years ago while I was in college, I lost a friend to an accident during a rugby game. He took a knee to his head that caused serious damage and he passed away after spending a couple days on life support.

Anyway, this coach gave us some wonderful things to ponder. He said if you want to find out the true character of a person, there is a simple test you can perform. It will work for family, your best friend, or a complete stranger. The test is simple. He said, watch how they treat people they don't need. We all treat folks we need (boss, family, teacher, etc) differently. Of course we do, they have something we need! The people we DON'T need are not bad people. They may be the greatest person in the world, they just don't have anything we need. But how do we treat them? The gas attendant? The clerk you bought your big gulp from? Shoe salesman? Etc, etc. So it made me think, hmmm how do I treat these people? I realized I have work to do. It was very insightful. Think about that for a moment. How do YOU treat people you don't need?

He then asked if we wanted to change our life and perspectives. If we did, he gave us a 7 day challenge which I now extend to all my readers. Are you ready? There are 2 things you need to do everyday for 7 days--and hopefully after that too--but at least for 7 days. 1) Find someone you don't need anything from...and treat them differently. (good different. ;-) 2) Find a job that is "not your job" and do it. Maybe picking up garbage off the street. Helping someone to their car with groceries. Etc. Do these two things and you will change your life and your character.

Neat huh? I loved that. Ok back to my list...

3) I've been busy. I can't even tell you what I've been doing because I don't know! I just know I'm running around all the time and just staying busy!

4) I got a coldsore?!?!?! What the heck? I haven't had one of those in YEARS but I think stress causes them to pop up sometimes. It's right on my upperlip and it driving me bonkers. I realize that hasn't been keeping me busy but it's annoying so I felt like adding it to my list.

So, that's where I've been. But I will be better from here on out! I don't want you all to go through "Shamae withdrawals." :-) I will be better at checking everyone's blogs as well!

And, with that said, I need to run and get Sydney from kindergarten!